HOW I’M COPING WITH CANCER AND BEING A SMALL BUSINESS OWNER DURING COVID-19 AND WHAT IT MEANS FOR YOU
Owner Brittney Banks with her Estelle
An accident in Bali, and a trip to the walk-in clinic at home.
It all started in January with a scooter accident in Bali. I came home with a torn MCL and found myself checking into a walk-in clinic. Something called COVID-19 was just beginning and although all I needed was an ultrasound for my knee, the doctor examined my throat and neck as a COVID-19 protocol. Before I knew it I was walking out with tests in hand for my thyroid and my knee.
Small business owners need to work. So all I cared about was my knee.
At that point in time, all I cared about was whether or not my leg was going to be ok so I could still work. For anyone who knows me well, I wasn’t about to let a knee injury stop me, so I chose to power through (well limp through) and didn’t give much thought to what my next news would be.
Finding out I have Thyroid cancer.
Fast track through two months of ultrasounds, blood work and biopsies with a thyroid specialist I was told I had cancer.
Ok - I must admit. Now I was getting a little worried. I was quite dumbfounded as to how this could have happened. I had seen my family doctor every year, as well as three ENTs (ears, nose and throat) specialists in the past two years because I always had a feeling something didn’t feel right in my throat. Each time I was told that no further tests were needed as nothing was wrong with me and the chances of it being something serious were so low. I was dismissed so easily so many times that I ended up thinking I was crazy.
This time, upon finding out I had thyroid cancer I was reassured by my doctor that the required surgery was a routine thyroidectomy with no need to worry.
But as days passed, COVID-19 was getting more rampant and I was told an “elective” surgery such as a routine thyroidectomy would just have to wait. How long? 4-6 months, with no guarantees. It was Covid’s time to shine, not my surgery.
Temporarily closing Hair by Banks.
Then in March came the economic lockdowns, and I got hit with my salon closure. This was tough. I felt as though a large piece of me and my daily life was just ripped away from me. I didn’t last even a week before I broke down and cried because I missed my hair by banks family, clients and friends. I know this may not come as a surprise to any of you but I need to be around people and the hustle at all times, this is just who I am.
I needed a plan to feel productive, and to feel myself again. My amazing fiancé Josh challenged me to start working out more (with some insane workouts) and eat healthy 6-7 days a week – which I promised I would commit to until I got my surgery date.
Enter Estelle, and happy thoughts of opening soon.
Josh bought me a puppy (more like a little cute fluff ball!) who we named Estelle, and this made my life immensely better. My incredible staff and I stayed in constant touch as we discussed strategy, educated ourselves on hair services, prepared the opening of the salon together, and just shot the breeze, because we’re friends. Collaboratively, and separately (because of social distancing), we painted and renovated the patio and finished the new loft space upstairs at the salon. Although no one could be around, I felt at ease knowing I could be at my salon, making subtle changes while daydreaming of the day when I could have my staff and clients come in again.
But something felt off.
As time passed, I had a horrible feeling. What if my cancer spread? I don’t know why I thought this, but I did. I begged and pleaded for more tests but my doctor said with this type of cancer there was less than a 1% chance of it spreading and that no tests were necessary.
What do percentages mean to someone who has been told so many times by specialists that my chances of developing cancer were so low?
I refused to give up on my gut so I turned to my friend who is a doctor. Luckily she was able to connect me with a very intelligent, caring, and genuine specialist who was able to get me in for a CT scan and more cancer blood work tests (thank you so much).
Sure enough, bad news followed.
A week later my phone rings and I get a call from my surgeon asking me to meet with him… here we go. Lo' and behold I was told my cancer spread into my lymph nodes and that I would be put on a priority list for surgery (once they could get permission to perform surgeries again).
I was right! Yay me I proved them wrong!!! I made the priority list!!! Oh, wait, that’s right. My cancer has spread.
Now I had to sit and wait, wondering which lymph node my cancer is spreading to next, hoping Sir Covid grants me a window to get a surgery date.
Time started moving at snail's pace.
I have questions and concerns, lots of them. But who do I call? The surgeon gave me his phone number but every call and email goes to an assistant, who sometimes decides to respond and if I’m really lucky, even answers my questions. I know, I know I get it. Covid (this is sincere, I respect the efforts we all have made to slow this Covid thing down, but dammit).
So I spend my time waiting, guessing, and resorting to Dr. Google to tell me everything that can go wrong with me.
Finally, a date for surgery. And it’s 5 days away.
May 21st rolls around and I get notified my surgery date is scheduled for May 26th. WHAT? Ok but I’m not ready, this is moving all so fast and what about my salon? How am I going to book clients? How do I prepare the salon for opening? What if it opens while I’m in the hospital? What do I tell my staff, my family, my friends?
And WTF? We just got a call saying Estelle’s upcoming shoulder surgery is on the EXACT SAME DAY AS MINE?? I stressed, then went frantic and then Josh sat me down, handed me a pen and paper and told me to write down what we needed to get done and that we would tackle this together before the 26th.
Telling my loved ones.
You may have picked up from my comment above that I had not told my family, my friends, nor my staff. The only three people who had known were Josh and two friends. I didn’t want to tell anyone until I knew that surgery was around the corner. What worries me most is people worrying about me. I couldn’t bear to have people knowing for months, waiting, agonizing, wondering about me. Asking me questions and forcing me to revisit my emotions in every conversation we have. No, I had to wait. And now was the time. I ripped the band-aid off and told them. And worry they did. The tears, the questions, the concern was overwhelmingly moving. But it stressed me out. I don’t like knowing my loved ones are sad.
Thanks to COVID-19, I had to face this alone. Sort of.
My nerves were running wild and I was scared. At least Josh and my family could be in the hospital with me for me surgery. Oh, wait a second, Covid. No, no they weren’t allowed. I should have realized this as Josh wasn’t allowed in any of my appointments for the previous two months. I had to face this by myself.
Josh improvised. He wrote me sweet letters for me to read before and after my surgery, saying the encouraging things he would have said if he was there. He also promised he’d be waiting outside the hospital for the duration of my surgery so his energy would give me strength. That helped.
Surgery. And crying.
The day of my surgery began just like any other day. I cried. Then we dropped off our dog for her surgery at 7:00am, and I cried again. That was one way to keep my mind off my surgery. And then it was my turn.
I found myself on the operating room table. The bright lights and the frenzy of everyone in the room was maddening. A nurse noticed my unease and asked me a good song she could play for me. She played Sam Cooke’s “Bring it on home to me" a favourite of Josh's and mine. 4 hours later the surgery was finished.
Recovering. And needing some comfort.
The surgery was major, but it was over. Now I had to get through 5 days in the hospital. By Day 3 I couldn’t handle it any more. I crept out of my room in the middle of the night and staked out the elevator for about an hour until the coast was clear. As stealth as someone who is as mobile as a sloth can be, I crept into the elevator and shot Josh a text telling him to come and meet me outside to see me. Just for 10 minutes. The combination of Josh being a 10 minute drive away, and my super slow pace of walking led to us meeting outside at the exact same time. It was a nice 10 minutes, even if the nursing staff scolded me when I came back.
I learned a lot during this time.
Among other things, I saw first-hand the effects that COVID-19 is having on other people. It’s a stressful time. I learned that some of the best, smartest and sweetest people in the world are working in our healthcare system. I also learned that there are flaws in our healthcare system, and a difficult time like this magnifies them. I learned that nobody knows your body better than you do, and while Canada amazing healthcare, if you want something done, you have to advocate for yourself. I am always aware of all the love that surrounds me, and this period was no exception. With all the support, love and flowers from everyone, I felt like a very lucky girl, in an unlucky situation.
Hair by Banks is open! But things will be different for me.
As we return to serving you and your hair in the best possible way we can, please bear with me. This is a crucial time for my business and I plan to be in the salon as much as I can to ensure everything is back on track.
But here I am, a month out of surgery with one less thyroid and 32 less lymph nodes than I had before. I’m recovering well, but not out of the woods. But all things considered, a good result. I’m feeling good, glad the salon is back, and happy the surgery went well. I’m grateful for Josh, my family, my friends and so so excited to get to see my staff, friends and clients once again!
While I’m fully booked until mid-August, my body is not at 100%, and I still have further cancer treatment to face, starting in August. This means that for the foreseeable future I will have to work reduced hours. You may therefore note difficulty in getting appointments with me, and I apologize for this. I am so thankful and lucky to have developed an all-star squad of hairstylists who would love to work with you, and I am excited about that because they are amazing. I know you all well, and would love to make a customized recommendation on which of my stylists best suits your needs. Please send me a DM or text 416-997-0031 and I will be happy to match you with the appropriate stylist.
All in all - it is great to be back and see all of you again.
Love,
Brittney Banks